


Candle Light

by nexttonotnormal



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander Hamilton - Freeform, Hamilton - Freeform, John Laurens - Freeform, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Theatre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 07:58:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6648982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nexttonotnormal/pseuds/nexttonotnormal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexander is writing; as usual, and John decides to pay him a visit.<br/>Set during the war. Alexander never married Eliza.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Candle Light

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know. Shit summary. But I didn't know how else to explain it. I wanted to make a fluffy/agnsty- sort of thing. Please tell me what you guys think, I want to improve my writing. I love doing it. ^__^  
> Ayyyyee this is my first work I am posting on here. woo.

The sun had already set, the orange glow slowly dissipating into a cool, dark night. The crickets chirped, and the frogs let out throaty croaks into the darkness. All of the men were tucked away in their tents, most, if not all of them, sleeping. John Laurens as not one of them. He couldn’t sleep, which wasn’t uncommon for him as of lately. Normally, a quick walk in the night air helped him get the melatonin in his body flowing, and he was out like a light. Tonight, it wasn’t working. At all.

Sucking in a gulp of air, he closed his eyes, trying to will his mind to slow down, just for a little while. He needed sleep just as much as the next guy. The cool air stung his nose and lungs, but he didn’t mind all that much. As much as he hated to admit it, the reasoning behind his restlessness had very much to do with his closest friend, Alexander Hamilton. He came into his life like a hurricane, and nothing had ever been the same since. John had caught himself staring at him often, most of the time when he was writing. Every so often he would lift his head from his parchment, catching him. Something would cross Alexander’s face, something that John never had quite enough time to catch. It only lasted a moment, then he would shake his head and bury himself back in his work.

A light shining from a tent brought him out of his mind, he hadn’t even realized he’d stopped walking in front of the very tent that held the man who had consumed his thoughts.

_Of course he is awake._

Since when did Alexander ever go to sleep at a reasonable time?

John ran a hand through his curls, not bothering to have put it up on his walk.

_Might as well go see what he is up to._

Gently pushing the flap of the ten open, he couldn’t help but slightly smile at the sight before him. Alexander, furiously writing away, his hair in a messy ponytail, papers strewn around him like confetti.

“One of these days you’re going to work yourself to death.” He commented softly, still wearing a small smile upon his features. His stomach churned when Alexander looked up at him briefly, grinning lightly.

“It will have been worth it.” He answered as a matter of factly while he scribbled away. “What do I owe this pleasure?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” John replied, perhaps a little too quickly. He crossed his arms across his chest, letting his weight shift to his left leg.

Alexander arched an eyebrow, eyes still on his work. “Oh? That's unlike you. You normally are out like a light as soon as the sun sets.” He chuckled lightly, causing John to smile with a shake of his head. He couldn’t help but admire the look upon his friends features, the way his brow furrowed in concentration, the way he skillfully moved the quill over the parchment. Alexander lifted his head again, and the blood rushed to John's face at being caught; again. He expected the other man to just shake his head and return to his work like normal, but something caused him to keep looking at his friend.

“Laurens, you’re blushing.”

His hands flew to his face, immediately feeling the blood boiling under his skin. “I-It must be the candles, you know sometimes they make me warm.” He tried to brush off his slip up as best as he could. He knew very well this was not something that he wanted to deal with. Not tonight.

When he stuttered, Alexander arched an eyebrow. It wasn’t like him to stutter. He set down his quill, sensing something was not right with his dear friend. “Is everything alright?” He asked, concern lacing his voice.

_Shit._ Now he had really done it. He should've just stayed in his tent, he could’ve avoided getting himself into this situation. He tapped his pointer finger on the side of his leg, a nervous habit he had picked up as a child. He opened his mouth to say _“I’m fine”_ , but snapped it shut when he saw the look on Alexander's face. Plain concern and worry was evident in his deep brown eyes, he couldn’t lie to him. He sighed heavily in defeat. “It’s not important Alexander.”

Alexander frowned, turning himself around in his chair fully. His eyes went to John’s hands, seeing him nervously tapping his leg. This all but caused him to frown more, knowing that his friend was nervous in speaking to him. “It is of great importance to me, if it is bothering you, my dear Laurens.” He replied smoothly, rising from his chair to lean against his desk.

Feeling his heartbeat pick up speed at “My dear Laurens”, he ran a shaky hand through his hair. “I want to tell you Alexander, I really do, but I can’t take the risk. I just _can’t._ ” He was getting himself worked up, he could feel it. But he took no action to calm himself down. He went back to tapping his finger against his leg, looking everywhere but at Alexander.

Walking cautiously up to his friend, Alexander rested a hand on his shoulder. John flinched at the touch, but didn’t push him away. “You know you can tell me anything John.” He breathed, trying to get the slightly shorter man to look him in the eyes. At the use of his first name, rather than Laurens, John finally made eye contact. He was so close, so unbelievably close.

“Not this time.”

He had said it so quiet, Alexander almost didn’t hear it.

Now don’t be sill-” He was cut off before he could finish by a pair of lips crashing into his own. Eyes flying open in shock, he unintentionally tensed. Before he could really process what was happening, the warmth that John’s lips offered was gone.

“I am so sorry Alexander I’m so stupid.” He started backing up, panic at what he had just done setting in. It had just felt right in the moment, but now he feared he had made a horrible mistake. “It just felt so right and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship but you were giving me that look and I just gave into what I felt and now you’re going to hate me and-” He kept rambling as he began to pace frantically.

Alexander was still in a bit of a shock, trying to process what had just happened. His best friend had just kissed him, and was now having a borderline panic attack in front of him. "John." 

"Why did I even do that? I must be pretty dumb to think that was a good idea-"

"John."

"You must think me a fool, oh god just-"

"John!"

John finally stopped pacing, jumping in surprise. His finger continued to tap at his side, but he was still. 

"Breathe." Alexander instructed, having talked him through panic attacks before. When at war, and death is seen almost daily, things like this happened often. He walked towards him slowly, careful to not panic him further. "You're okay. It's okay." When he was close enough, he reached for John's hand, taking it easily. John's confused eyes met Alexander's. 

"You're not angry?"

"Why would I be?" He used his hold on John's hand to pull him closer. "You caught me off guard was all." He paused for a moment, thinking of the right words. "I have no reason to be angry, for I wanted that just as much as you did." 

At that, John blinked with surprise. "You mean-" He stopped mid sentence when Alexander slowly nodded his head to confirm what he was about to say. 

“I have admired you for quite sometime, ever since we met in that tavern. I have never been the same.” He cautiously raised his free hand to cup John's cheek in his hand, brushing his thumb over sun kissed freckles. "Forgive me. I did not mean to give you the wrong impression when you kissed me." When the man before him was silent, he became a little nervous. "Please say something."

"I love you." It came out before he could stop it. John averted his eyes down before looking back up, waiting for a reaction.

"Oh John, I love you too." Alexander breathed before capturing John's lips in a soft kiss. The kiss was so natural, that it seemed like it was meant to be. That night was the first of many that the two spent in each other's embrace, whispering sweet nothings into the coolness of night time, only illuminated by candle light.

 


End file.
